you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
