I checked into jail on foursquare
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
