You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
