Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
