I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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