I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
