my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
