That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
