Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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