Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
40s are totally the cure
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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