Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
