i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
