If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
