he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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