very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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