You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
