Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
