Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
