I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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