Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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