So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am available for nakedness
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
