tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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