the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
