I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
