Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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