He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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