Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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