My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
