Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
