I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
