Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
