have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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