He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
