There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
