1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
