The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
