found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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