Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
