i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I supernannyed him into submission
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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