Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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