You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
