she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
