and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
