Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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