dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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