we're blogging at a bar
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
