I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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