I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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