i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Randomize
