So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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